Friday, September 16, 2011

High Tech Toilet...Are You F#$king Serious?


   Well.... Kohler has gone and invented a high tech toilet for rich people. This toilet costs $6400! Who the fuck is going to spend that kind of money on something they are just going to shit in anyway when you can shit outside for free? I mean to think that money could go to a homeless shelter. It could buy a poor kid clothes for years. It could pay for community college. I mean Nothing says fuck the poor like $6400 on a shitter.
   Plus it's one of those commercials that shows everything about a product other than what it's used for. You know like those summer's eve commercials with a woman running through a field. Happy I guess she isn't messing up her pants. I mean in this commercial you have the nice romantic setting with the music playing. A man and a women dressed really nice and kind of dancing  close as it cuts to shots of a fuckin' toilet. They look at the toilet and he whispers in her ear,"I gotta take a shit right now." I mean what the hell why is there a toilet in the living room next to a big ass window so everyone can see in. I would so piss all over that glass who puts a toilet there. I mean damn I like some low level bombing too but I'm not gonna do it in my living room. I mean what if you have people over and gotta drop a deuce. People aren't just gonna sit there and watch TV while your fartin and shittin all over the place I don't care how nice the toilet is.
   The thing has heated seats and theme music. I mean how much of a prissy ass do you have to be to need a heated seat? I mean I've been there before in the middle of the night you gotta take a dump and get paralyzed and cinch up from a cold seat. We've all been there but goddamn! I ain't paying money for it I'll just deal with it. It plays elevator music too. I don't even like elevator music in elevators hell that would be distracting. I'd be like turn that off I'm tryin to shit in here I gotta concentrate. This has got to be one of the most pointless inventions I have ever seen.

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